i am damn paiseh

since cj complained that i have broken a promise which i dont even remember making, i shall update.

amazing ah cj... u no need study isit? come online so often. u better log off and do revision. lots and lots of ten yr series.

to whichever student reading this, jiayou for exams! dont slack! its never too early to start revision. -spoken like a true nj mugger.

anyway. my head feels damn full nowadays. too many commitments circling my head. theres art club, being a ct rep and art as a subject itself. with the impending holidays, it seems that every single thing in my life right now is lobbying for a slot with me during the holidays. theres aep wrkshp, make up lessons and of course, meetings with people, either for cca purposes or just for outings.

thinking of outings, i realised that its been a long time i last talked to suhailah, zafirah, nazeera, farah. Even karla, who used to hang with me all the time is nowhere to be seen. Gennie is on the other side of the world. and the punsters and the bananas. well... yah...

but i am glad for one thing. actually for alot of things. (yes, yes... i am counting my blessings). for one, i am thankful for having sok huang around. and adeline, of course! i can always count on them to entertain me. hahaha. Not to mention other people like the soccer girls, perbayu peeps and my beloved class. Oh... and i am really grateful for the fact that alvin and samuel are in my gp class, together with sok huang because, then, there's always a delightful amount of gossip to keep me awake especially on thursdays, during double gp.

oh. and can u believe it? my cikgu asked me today "aini, kenape awak selenge?" i was like... ARGH!!! sampai hati guruku begitu. -.-. adakah patut seorang cikgu yang ayu dan manis begitu bertanyakan kesiumananku? cikgu, cikgu. saya tukar2 stail rambut jer, per... takkan gitu pun boleh dipanggil selenge. dah takde artistic license ke? takpe la. at least, cikgu's fun side dah terserlah. Dah tak takut2 lagi. tapi mesti mau respek! hormat senjata! (takde lah.. aku merepek jer seh)

i hate double periods because it means (1) horribly long discussions ala PW. (2) practical work and ma fan graphs and even more ma fan discussions on errors and improvements (3) opportunity for in class work during gp and malay. however, the only double periods i love is art! hurrah for art!

now that we are doing sculpture, i feel more at ease. when we were doing a lot of drawings last time, i felt horribly horrid because 'i had no professional training'. yup yup. now, i find that i voluntarily do drawings, spurred on by the want to do a good sculpture. i did sketches on the mrt on saturday... someting i rarely do. and today, i completed the sketchbook i had been using for my scuplture module. i feel bad because my A3 book is still quite hungry for some attention... be patient my friend... we shall have a rocking time soon.

well thats all... my responsibilities beckon me... goodbye starshine. the earth waves bubbye!

Today

was a day of many firsts for me. Lets start from the beginning, yah?

Firstly, the night before today. For the first time, i said 'eff that!' to my homework, to my prep for maths test and physics spa and went to sleep after stoning in front of the telly for two hours. I totally am screwing up my studies, so i shall resolve to be a better student.

Then, this morning got perbayu meeting. For the first time, i was out of the door at a time that will enable me to reach school in time for the meeting. Basically, i was going to be punctual for that meeting. So off i went on my merry way, i bought milk and newspaper from the vendor and took the mrt then 852. feeling sleepy, i nodded off in the bus.

When i woke up, i cudnt recognize my surroundings. No more NJCians in the bus. This ah pek was staring at me like nobody's business. for the first time, i overshot the bus stop like nobody's business. i was at thomson rd there la.(excuse my english, just had double period of gp) In short, i was quite amazed at my experience. It was quite fun to look at new surroundings.

For one, now i noe where mount alvernia hospital and the japanese association of singapore is. i also realise that the view above adam flyover is very pretty. The horizon is dotted with trees and the huge expanse of the sky is pinkish purplish blueish orangey...bla bla.

and today, also, was the first time i donated blood. is it safe to say that now some guys at the blood bank can clone me? all throught the process, i cant help but wonder, what if the blood donation thing is a conspiracy and that actually, the clueless civilians are being tricked into giving up the blood voluntarily to sustain a being of not human origins?

There's this folklore that tells a story of this being that requires fresh blood so that it can stay young and alive by bathing in copious amounts of that red stuff. So, what if we are all goaded into this act of generosity so that we can all sustain a very important person in Singapore who looks like he needs the substance? *hint*hint*clue*clue*

yup yup. this is muchos fun. anyhoo, i gave blood... you should too! you should not incurr the wrath of he-who-must-not-be-pinpointed-lest-i-get-sued-and-probably-banished-into-the-depths-of-siberia. phew. wad a long name.

anyway, i cant remember the last first i was supposed to write here. oh well. i tink thats enough firsts for today...

and a note to my lovely friends. (assuming that you people reading this ARE my friends.) I dont tink i'll be back soon, like regularly for updates. I get very discouraged when i dont see the tagboard moving and i keep seeing the stupid smiley face i typed eons ago. it seems as if my writing has not affected anyone enough to evoke a response. i feel sad. i feel lonely. and i tink i need to study. i planned to do my eom, but i got distracted. so i am going to do my eom now. and then maybe, i will do other homework.

seriously need to catch up on my work if i want to not be retained.

adios amigas.

its funny

'mature' is the new disgusting.

today is a saturday

and today was the last match of the soccer season. i hopped around some of the other girl's blogs and i saw that they all feel very sad that the season has come to an end.

i do too. i am quite sad that i'll not get to hang out with the j2s anymore. chee may with her sweet smile everytime we tease her. christine with her lame ass comments and the mud baths. and kak nissa with her neverending encouragement and her funny-ass comments all the time. i have to say that i truly will miss them when they start mugging for their prelims and a's.

they went to sentosa after the match. i tot i wud go back to sch to have a look see ard the art club meeting. but they wrapped things up already so i arranged to meet eddie at PS.

i regret not going to sentosa but i do not like leaving eddie alone. besides, i wasnt feeling too great. was just moping about. and ade (bless her heart) tried to get me to talk about it.

the thing is, i cant.

i have to 'exorcise my own demons'.

during art history lesson yesterday, we learnt about edvard munch. he painted 'the scream' which was the painting that gave us the inspiration for our 'eiuuuu'. he was such a sad man. lived a sad life and painted these paintings that were so emotive and abit scary, if u ask me.

anyway, ms lu mentioned that he painted so as to exorcise his own demons. to express himself and his emotions.

*shit i cant remember the point i wanted to make*

oh ya.

i tink i have to exorcise my own demons and fight my own battles alone. Eddie has been a very good friend. Even more than good at times but i guess there are some things that u cant just share with another person and it will disappear. it just doesnt work that way. if you dont deal with it, it will come back and haunt you. (and no, i am not capitalising on the fact that it IS seventh month now.)

I guess i have to sort out my thoughts sometime soon. Its not good when u are too flexible. you bend and comply to people around you so much that in the end, when two parties need you, you do not know which to compromise with.

when i think that i am a complicated person, sometimes i get the niggling feeling that perhaps i am not that complicated at all. just too aimless and backboneless.

randomity

today, i did a quiz


You are Cashmere.
You are sophisticated and luxe. You can often be
found in high-end boutiques and hobnobbing with
the upper crust. You are one of the beautiful
people and you don't let anyone forget it!


What kind of yarn are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

and i am CASHMERE! however, i resent some of the stuff the quiz mentioned. hullo?!?! 'beautiful people'? good one.

anyway, yesterday i was watching Incredible Tales. It was good. I couldnt stop laughing. It was really a good comedy. For the uninformed, Incredible Tales is a local program showcasing the spooks in Singapore. Its supposed to be spooky and informative but in the process of doing so(being informative)it occasionally shoots itself in the foot by refuting the sightings by asking this psychologist to denouce the paranormal.

I had the time of my life laughing my arse off at the 'distraught' father whose son and wife just died. HIS ACTING WAS HILARIOUS. I dont know if i can do any better, but really, watching his face contort into expressions so unlikely and fake and fast. His mistress too. Picture this: You catch your son playing with an imaginary friend and he tells u that he is playing with his kor-kor who is obviously dead because the kor-kor in question is his half brother from his father's previous marriage. You freak out. What would u do? a) collapse in a heap beside your son. b) run away screaming c) grab your son and run away to safety.

Well, our protagonist chose option (a). I was really tickled at how the script was written too. The policeman who was investigating the deaths... HAHA. His acting was damn funny too. Cant blame him this time, because his lines were rubbish.

Anyway, the climax of the episode was supposed to be this scene where the poor kid gets to jump out of the window to his death after spouting a line like 'kor kor say i can be superman'. This scene took up a whole 5 minutes where daddy dearest could have just rushed forward to rescue the obviously siao child. but... NO. They (the parents)were pleading and screaming for that kid to come back down.

the idiocy of some people.

anyway, now i am going to be 'racist' and type in malay.

Dah lame tak masuk dapur. Hari ini, mak nyanyi lagu. Ibunda cakap dah lame ko tak masuk dapur aini, nanti sampai tue tak pandai masak. jadi, kite pun masuk kluar dapur. haha. takde la. kite berpura-pura tolong-tolong kat dapur. mak suruh potong cili buat lemak cili padi/api.

nak tengok cili ape mak kite guna?



itu dia! banyak tak? cili padi dari ntuc tau! lepas tu, mak kite cakap lemak cili api tu terlalu pedas. habis la. nampaknye ceret-beret lah budak-budak yang makan bende ni. tapi... kalau tak pedas, tak shiok kan? mesti mau pedas. sampai lidah nak putus pun takpe.

haha. okay. till next time, bubbye

dot dot dot

i realise that humans revere grotesque stuff. will elaborate some time later.

Aini was

a girl. Now, she is still a girl but things have changed for her. She used to love doing nothing, just going through the day in a stupour. Now, she doesnt because she doesnt even have the opportunity to do so.

Aini had a blog. She knows that the blog is just a weirdass thing on the net that she can put her writings on to let the rest of the world be a spectator to her thoughts. She wants it to be a connecting connection to all her friends because she thinks they are drifting apart.

But Aini realises that her entries always sounded the same. She liked to complain about her busy, busy day and the mountain of work to be done which was continously growing bigger and bigger just like someone's hair.

So Aini has taken some time off to reflect on herself.

She realises that she cannot survive her life in NJC without her friends. Her friends are all dear to her and she knows that she will be deeply affected even if anything would happen to one of acquaintances.

Aini loves Sokhuang.

And 'Eddie' is Aini's concubine. Or gigolo... Whatever the occasion may call for, 'Eddie' will be there for Aini and Aini appreciates 'Eddie' greatly.

Thus, Aini will now always remember that Aini is very, very far from perfect.

Today, Aini said something which was quite true. An Ideal is just that. It does not really exist. Take for example, Ideal gases. There is no such thing as an ideal gas but we have an ideal gas equation. Ideal fluids too dont really exist.

So. Aini thinks that Ideals do not really exist. They are just unattainable goals that humans like to set, being the thinking beings that they are. And Aini realises that Ideals are very scary and potentially very destructive.

Therefore, Aini has decided that Ideals are ideally good. And thus, Ideals for her should be just that. She will use them to set her goals but she knows better then to be too obsessed with them because she knows of the potential destruction that will cause.

And as such, Aini has decided to reorganise her things. She knows that she has been doing that since she has had things to organise but she justifies her actions by upholding a principle in life.

And that is "Whatever makes Aini happy, its okay."

WArnINg!

warning: brain has begun its shutdown therefore read this at your own risk.

('So cliched'... *flicks wrist)

today was a muchos different day. first of all, its SOK HUANGS BIRTHDAY. wee! happy birthday sokhuang!! heres a pic of her...

happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to sok huaaaang,
happy birthday to you!!

(picture purposely blurred so u can only enjoy the nuances of her being. she's MINE, I say.)


gave her a pink ticket, redeemable for alot of stuff. but she has to want it. some people may say that i am totally plagiarising willy wonka, but hey...he doesnt really exist, does he?

then, during art, we din have normal lessons. we went out to NUS to look at scuptures there. Ceramics, pottery, bowls, glazes. all pretty. but if u ask me, dont really like pottery. theres something about the roundness and smoothness of the form that disturbs me. Its even worse if the form is NOT round and/or smooth. I think its just the fact that those pots and bowls were made of clay and i dont really like the natural texture of the clay. It kinda freaks me out for some reason.

Then came back to school to meet up with 'eddie' to go to mustapha centre to collect the charger i sent for repair there. i felt abit guilt for making 'eddie' wait for so long. i still am. 'EDDIE'! I sorry.

We went shopping in that centre lar! after months of planning, i finally got the "sports t-shirt" (thats wad the label said) and then we bought chocolate and glass bangles. Ade was squealing at all the cheap stuff they had there and i was also quite amazed as the variety of goods they had. There were rows and rows of chocolate and we both did not know wad to buy. Ended up buying this hazelnut praline thingy. There were cheap earrings there too and i left that section cursing (kexin!) school rules because we arent allowed to wear dangly earrings to school.

i must admit that i think i put 'eddie' thru much stress today. haha. first i made her wait for so long, then dragged her all the way to farrer park where she mentioned that it felt weird to be a minority (i probably traumatised the poor kid) and exposed her to indian food for the first time in her life. thats wad she said anyway...

but i found it surprising that i can actually find people close to me who are not very exposed to food other than of the chinese kind. i was quite surprised to find out that she din know wad a dosai was. haha. ade! u deprived! must go out with me more so i can traumatise u more so that u can become robin.

ephiphany: i tink i am ignorant of how people can be unaware of the surroundings about them. on my part, i think i took for granted the fact that i have been exposed to quite a number of experiences throughout my life.


i sure hope 'eddie' wont lao sai from her first encounter with aunthentic indian food.

haha




ps:eddie is actually ade, but i just want to make her squeal because she is already irritated at her 'little' hair and the coffee bean people. long story. ask her if u want to know more.